Intuition

Oprah has called Gavin De Becker the nation's leading expert on violent behavior. He was on her show last week, but for some reason my DVR wasn't working and didn't tape the show. I was disappointed because I've seen him on her show in the past and he has a lot of great tips. I bought his book "The Gift of Fear" after he first appeared on Oprah. Like most of the books on my bookshelf I haven't gotten around to reading it yet, but I did take some notes from his talk with Oprah.

In The Gift of Fear, Gavin writes about survival signals that can protect you from violence. Gavin says to listen to your gut instincts otherwise known as intuition. Merriam-Websters dictionary defines intuition as a quick and ready insight. Gavin says, when you get a red flag pay attention. Anytime you say no in a circumstance and that person ignores it, that means they're trying to control you. When you say no to something it often means your saying yes to yourself. According to Gavin, as women we all need to say no more often. We are taught at a young age that no is related to something bad, and we don't want to hurt or disappoint someone. A friend of mine gave me some napkins that say just say no to the sign up sheet. As a stay at home mom it's easy to get carried away with volunteering. At first I'd sign up for things as an act of service and out of love for my children, but people quickly picked up on the fact that I was willing to help. I would inevitably be asked to take on other projects. I quickly became guilted into sayings yes and found myself regretting it. I realize this isn't a violent situation, but you can apply it to daily interactions with people. I now ask myself if a volunteer opportunity is something I really want to do and if not the answer is NO.

Gavin De Becker gave many examples of instances where women were victimized because they didn't trust their gut feelings about a situation. On the flip side, he also showed instances where they did listen to their inner voice or uncomfortable feeling and came out safely in a violent situation. I am the type of person who tends to panic, but I hope and pray that if I am ever in a dangerous situation I will listen to my intuition. I feel I am pretty sensitive to my surroundings and other people, but I tend to second guess myself. My mind tends to get carried away with unknown noises. My imagination can create some of it's finest work and before you know it the wind blowing a chair over becomes a swat team invasion. The difficulty for me sometimes is knowing the difference between my gut and my head games. Since posting this, I've decided to take Gavin's book off my shelf and actually read it. In the meantime, I'll share a quote from the Bible that one of my Bible study classmates gave me. Proverbs 1:33 "but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm."