Sunday, October 3, 2010

Relationship Advice

Actress Jenny McCarthy and author Terry McMillan shared some life lessons and relationship advice on the Oprah show.  Jenny has come out with a new book titled "Love, Lust & Faking It."  When I told my friend about the show her response was, "I would never take relationship advice from anyone in Hollywood." I will admit she has a good point.  I  look for the life lessons on Oprah's show and try not to judge where they are coming from.  I guess I tend to be a little gullible in that regard at times.

I by no means think Jenny McCarthy is an expert on marriage.  She shared some lessons and truths  though that I thought were insightful.  She realized that she had been looking to her past partners (most recently actor, Jim Carrey) to fulfill her happiness, needs and insecurities.  We are in charge of our own happiness.  She always thought she had to have a lover to have love in her life.  Now she realizes she is the love of her life.   Oprah talked about how the line "You Complete Me" from the movie Jerry McGuire couldn't be further from the truth.  It doesn't take another person to complete you.

Oprah believes every relationship you're in is there to teach you something about yourself.  I think it is unfortunate some people don't get the lesson the first time and they continue to repeat it over and over.  I know of a few people who are going through bitter divorces right now.  Terry McMillan shared what she learned from going through a bitter divorce of her own.  She married a man 20 plus years younger than her after meeting him on a trip to Jamaica.  After six years of marriage, he told her he was gay.  She was furious and felt betrayed.  They spent years wrapped up in lawsuits.  Her new book "Getting to Happy" chronicles her journey of finally letting go of the anger.

 I am one of those people who has been known to hold a grudge.  Oprah talked about her own experience holding a grudge.  She thought the angrier she was at the person the more they would suffer.  This happened until she saw the person across the street laughing and walking into Tiffanys.  I had to laugh at this because I can totally relate.  I think my wishing ill will on another person will somehow make them suffer, but it's me who is doing the suffering by holding on to anger.  Letting go can be a difficult thing to do.  Do you have something you're holding on to?

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