The Matchmaker

In keeping with the spirit of Valentine's Day I thought I'd write about Oprah's interview with Patti Novak, the matchmaker.  This show aired quite awhile back, but what I took away from it was the message that you teach people how to treat you.  People often repeat the same patterns in relationships.  According to Oprah, you become the star when you learn how to listen.    Listening validates the other person.  I feel like I'm a pretty good listener, but I'm guilty of repeating the uh huh phrase frequently when my kids are talking.  My husband will point it out to me, and I've tried to tell him it's a necessity.  Sometimes as a stay at home mom you need to tune your kids out in order to keep your sanity.  

I tend to raise my voice or get emotional when I feel like I'm not being heard.  Instead of getting my kids attention I think it just pushes them more away.  Maybe I'm wearing a big sign on my back that says "Don't listen to me" and I just don't realize it.  

For those of you who are looking for actual dating advice and disappointed that your not finding it here you can go to Oprah.com and type Patti Novak in the search engine.  Patti has all kinds of advice on the do's and dont's of dating.   Happy Valentine's weekend!